Arnel

“I’m not afraid of getting HIV, I know it’s manageable now. But, I sure don’t want it, and I don’t want others to get it either.”

Arnel is a native San Franciscan. A rare breed, indeed, he grew up in the Sunset and now lives near the Castro. He’s lived here for his whole life except for one nine–month stint in New York. “In San Francisco,” he says, “there’s a community of out gay people. A family feel, I just couldn’t find that in New York.” He’s been here ever since and plans on staying.

Arnel is an aerobics instructor, teaching kickboxing, strength, tai chi, and other classes. He was going to the gym to help him recover from his long–time partner’s death, and started taking group classes. His instructor encouraged him to train as a teacher, and it just felt right. He loves it, but he has a comic book habit to support. In order to do that, he films porn on the side, “It’s soooo not sexy,” he says, “hot lights everywhere, if you know what I mean, people chatting, telling jokes. We do stupid human tricks between takes.”

“Comics are my morality compass,” he says, and whenever he faces a conflict he stops to consider what Superman or Wonder Woman might do. Sometimes he thinks about Batman, too, but he thinks maybe Batman is a little disturbed.

There was no conflict for Arnel, however, about whether to join an HIV vaccine study. He was encouraged to do so by his HIV–positive partner before he passed away, and he joined an early study that was just about whether HIV negative men would be willing to participate. Years later, he joined an actual vaccine study. “I actually postponed my move to New York to be part of it,” he remembers.

HIV has been part of Arnel’s life for as long as he can remember. He has dated both HIV positive and negative men, and feels like the gay community needs an HIV vaccine. “I’m not afraid of getting HIV, I know it’s manageable now,” he explains, “but I sure don’t want it, and I don’t want others to get it either.”

His family had some concerns when he first joined the study, they thought it meant he was already infected, or might get infected from the vaccine. “I learned how to answer their questions from the study staff,” he says, “and when my parents understood, they were nothing but supportive.” Arnel thought being in the study was easy, not too much time, not too much effort, and didn’t impact his day-to-day life. He also didn’t feel any side effects, “I was so surprised to find out I got the actual vaccine,” he says, “I was sure I got the placebo.” His only regret is that getting the vaccine means he can’t join another study.