Jonathan

“… maybe, and most importantly, a vaccine would help us fight the stigmas around HIV.”

Jonathan is nervous in front of a crowd, but he has to take a public speaking course as part of his pre–nursing program at City College. He can understand why it’s important, but he’s not happy about it. His first speech will be about his experience as a volunteer at Maitri hospice, the story of when the first patient he had really connected with passed away. “I’m a Gemini,” he says, “so I thrive on contradictions. I am really stressed about speaking, but I went ahead and chose the most difficult and emotional topic I could think of to talk about.”

This particular adventure began on New Year’s Eve, 2008. Becoming a nurse was his New Year’s resolution, and five days later he quit his nine–year job as an escrow officer and enrolled in classes, despite having been out of school for 14 years. “It was nerve-–wracking. I was by far the oldest person in my class,” he says. Thanks to his status as an Air Force vet he is using the GI Bill, and can focus on school without worrying about work. “Everything just fell into place, so I feel like this is what the Universe wants me to be doing.”

The Universe also wanted him in San Francisco. After years of bouncing around the country he came to San Francisco, “and the City welcomed me in.” Within weeks, he had a job, and a community. A few years later, his friend taught him to play pool. It was just for fun at first. But, before he knew it, he was in a league and playing three or four times a week, and winning. “Pink is my favorite color,” he says of his custom cue, “and I ordered this one from Australia. It’s my crutch now, I need it to win.” It’s a snooker cue, just a bit smaller than a pool cue, “the tip is narrower, it’s like writing with a fine pencil, more precise.”

Since he moved to San Francisco, HIV has been a part of Jonathan’s life. “My best friend has been positive for 20 years,” he says, “and I’ve dated positive guys. I’m friends with guys who were here in the 80s, whose friends are all gone.” Jonathan feels a commitment to fighting HIV, and when he saw the ad for a vaccine study on BART, he called that same day.

“I was in physiology class at the time,” he remembers, “so I had a ton of questions, and the people at the clinic took the time to answer every one.” Some of his classmates were surprised, believing that HIV might be a government conspiracy, or that the vaccine might make him sick. But Jonathan believes that an HIV vaccine would stop people from getting sick and from dying. “And maybe, and most importantly,” he says, “a vaccine would help us fight the stigmas around HIV.”